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Honest Feedback
Honest Feedback offers compassionate support, advice and new perspectives on navigating life's challenges.
Honest Feedback
How to Stay Empowered in a Fear Driven World
Have you ever felt paralyzed by the constant barrage of alarming news and uncertain futures? In this deeply resonant episode, we navigate the complex landscape of fear in today's world and offer practical wisdom for staying centered when everything feels chaotic.
Starting with a listener's question about supporting a transgender friend experiencing anxiety about potential political threats, we explore how media consumption shapes our perception of reality and often traps us in worst-case scenario thinking. The modern algorithm-driven news cycle feeds us what keeps our attention glued to screens—usually the most alarming, catastrophic possibilities—leaving many feeling helpless and afraid.
But what if we could reclaim our most powerful resource—our attention? We dive into the transformative practice of "observe, don't absorb," allowing you to stay informed without becoming emotionally hijacked. Your imagination is a gift that can create anxiety when misused or incredible possibility when directed toward positive outcomes. We share practical approaches to preparation without panic, community building as protection, and the profound difference between consuming media and creating change.
The most powerful insight might be the simplest: "People don't respond to what we say. They respond to who we be." By maintaining your own equilibrium and groundedness, you naturally support those around you. This ripple effect creates change far beyond what arguing or convincing others could accomplish.
Whether you're navigating personal fears or supporting loved ones through uncertainty, this episode offers a balanced approach to staying empowered when the world feels overwhelming. As we remind ourselves: "You're not born a dragon slayer in a time without dragons." Perhaps we're exactly where we need to be, with exactly the strengths required for these times.
The next Huna Workshop is happening June 21 and 22 2025, spots are limited, register here: https://www.lissetking.com/huna
Honest Feedback was created by Brittney King and Lisset King.
Note: Honest Feedback Podcast aims to provide insights and provoke thoughtful reflection. The opinions expressed in this episode are for informational purposes only and should not replace professional advice.
Please send us your questions by leaving a voicemail at 971-895-4111, DM us on instagram @honestfeedbackpodcast or email us at thekings@honestfeedbackpodcast.com
Keep up with the podcast by following us @HonestFeedbackPodcast on YouTube
People don't respond to what we say. They respond to who we be, like children. Don't do what you say. They copy what you do. So, if you are choosing to stay in a place of empowerment, if you are choosing to stay in a place of positivity, if you are choosing to stay in the light that lets someone else know, hey, I can do it too. Welcome to Honest Feedback, the podcast where deep truth meets bold transformation. I'm Goddess Brittany King, a pleasure priestess and a transformational retreat facilitator who helps women connect to their deepest truths, reclaim their pleasure and awaken their inner power, and I'm Lissette King, an emotional ninja and transformational coach who helps leaders release baggage, heal unresolved trauma and step into their most aligned, purposeful lives.
Speaker 1:We've created this podcast for spirit led individuals just like you.
Speaker 2:Seekers of truth, personal growth and meaningful connection. Whether you're navigating life's big questions, craving more joy and fulfillment, or simply looking for honest, relatable conversations, you're in the right place Through personal stories, actionable advice and transformative insights.
Speaker 1:Our ultimate goal is to empower you to create a life that's overflowing with pleasure, purpose and authenticity.
Speaker 2:We know you're capable of incredible things, so let's make it happen together. Welcome back Today. We've got a really juicy topic. What are we talking about today, brett?
Speaker 1:We're talking about fear and kind of the state of the world, don't worry, don't worry, we have some optimistic thoughts and it's a time where there is a lot of fear going on. You know, depending on how much news you're taking in or what's happening in your immediate world and your circumstances and all sorts of things, there are a lot of people who are navigating fear, would you agree?
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely it's. It's been prevalent in my friend group. You know, just like concerns of what's going on, stress worry, you know people not spending money, or you know just all kinds of things are going on. Stress worry, you know, people not spending money, or you know just all kinds of things are going on. We got a doomsday prep. We got a doomsday prep. What is it? We got to map out our way out of the country.
Speaker 1:There's all kinds of there's all sorts of things, and it's understandable, because fear is a really not I want to say powerful frequency, but it's a frequency that can be really used to numb and sedate. So when you're experiencing fear, a lot of things can be going on, and we're going to dive deeper into it in this episode. But first, if you're listening to this, we would love for you to like, subscribe, write us a review. These things help to get our podcast out there and to more people. Thank you so much for being a part of the community.
Speaker 1:You want to give this question a read? Sure, my cat sitter is transgender and had surgery in the fall. She just messaged me and is in a state of fear about what the current administration is going to do and is targeting trans people. She said things aren't bad yet, but she may need to seek asylum in another country if they do. She is just watching and waiting. She told me all this because she knows I don't follow the news. So my question how can I help her to not put her energy into fear and worry of all the possible scenarios that can go down? I'm not sure what is possible for this administration to do. Yes, it's scary, but I guess I just don't know. I'm feeling a bit paralyzed by fear.
Speaker 2:It hits so close to home.
Speaker 2:You know there's that, depending on what side of the news you're on and I just want you to know, there are several timelines happening at the same time. If you ever wonder how someone can think so critically on one side of the fence right, left, wing, right wing, same bird guys it is because they are being filtered through their news, through their beliefs. They're getting what is it? Confirmation, bias news, and so that's why it feels so different when you're receiving what your algorithm is allowing you to receive. And if you're giving attention, let's say, specifically in social media, if you give attention to things that give you fear, the algorithm goes ooh, this person likes this and I'm going to give them more of it and more of it and more of it. You know, back in the day it used to just be a few stations and if you're watching that station, they'd give you that news. But now we actually control our own algorithms by how long we spend time on things.
Speaker 2:And so there's the fringe, there's the news on the outside. I was talking to my mentor because I had this very similar, not the same, but I was feeling things around. Being first generation American, I come from immigrant parents and there was talk of that we are queer, the marriage rollbacks, things that we're hearing, and what my mentor had to say was there are. There's the news on the outskirts, like the fringe stuff, that's the stuff that gets your attention, and then there's actually the stuff that's in the middle and that's what's actually happening, and yet you're going to be fed that which you're most attracted to mentally, what takes up your time and space, not necessarily what's true, yeah.
Speaker 1:I just want to say like I feel you and I appreciate that you want to support your friend in moving out of fear and overwhelm and like just holding some space, for those things are real. Like when I was hearing that kind of news I got scared. I was like does this mean my marriage isn't valid and they're going to take my wife away, who was born in this country? Like how could this be? And I genuinely felt scared. And then it was just like this is an opportunity for me to take back my power from this creation, to let go of this fear and tune into what's true. So one I want to say, like when you're saying how do I support this person and not putting all their energy into worry and fear, it is what is our best possible use of our imagination.
Speaker 1:Our imagination is what a wonderful gift. I mean it works incredible. You can come up with pictures in your head. There's Lord of the Rings, like all of these things come from imagination. Harry Potter, you know, I like a fantastical imagination. It all comes from your imagination. You know what else can come from your imagination? Anxiety, that is, using your imagination to imagine the worst possible case of scenario. And like love our lizard brain, bless her. She's doing the best she can with the resources she has. It's just like if I think of all the worst case scenarios, quote unquote, then I can be prepared.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:But that's not the best use of our imagination, that's not the best use of this resource, of this tool. It's. How can I imagine what the best case scenarios are for this If I allow myself to switch my focus from what's the worst thing that can happen to what's the best thing that can happen? What's the best?
Speaker 2:thing. Yeah, absolutely, fear is just. It's so paralyzing Like it causes you to just like clench up, freeze and just stay in these thought processes of more and more things to be afraid of, and it's just so important to be able to take that back, like wherever there is it's a Mr Rogers saying, like when terrible things are happening, look for the helpers. And you know, in any major terrible thing the fires that were happening in LA there are people out there that are serving to the highest capacity and you know I want to honor that you're cat sitter, transgender. There are programs here in Oregon that were just raising money. A few weeks ago my friend was at a fundraiser to support transgender people in getting out of hostile situations, like how do we relocate them? There's so many people out there helping and supporting and putting up a good fight as well, and so it's important to look for the beauty and the good, because it's also happening at the same time.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, you can't separate the positive from a negative on a magnet. You can't separate the positive from negative. In reality, all things are happening. The polarities are happening at the same time and the extremities of this polarity right now it's serving. There's change happening. There's change and change while it's happening looks very scary. If you walk into an operating room in the middle of surgery, you'll think that it's a murder happening and at the same time we get to stand in our power as this thing unfolds and seek community to support us.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Community is it's so positive? I feel like this is one of my other points. It's like where can I put my positive energy? Where can I direct my energy? Because sometimes it's like I have a lot of energy, things are happening, I'm feeling activated, and it's like I can use that energy to go into terror, despair. I mean this is primal, but fight or fight or freeze, you know, these are things that you literally say. You get frozen in fear like we use it.
Speaker 1:That. Or it's like how can I use this energy for good? Maybe it's I want to get to know my neighbors. I want to know my community. Our blog has a group chat. You know are like hey, I have extra potatoes or I grew this. It's like anybody want this. We have a group chat with our neighbors. Maybe it's I'm getting to know my neighbors. I'm getting to know people around me. I'm investing in community. I'm investing in spaces that feel good. Hey, I want to hang out with other queer people who are around me. I'm going to invest in relationships. So like where can I put my energy?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's when we take our energy back, when we take our eyes off of what we're being told is happening and we take the control back to create from the inside, like I feel you, and I feel the fear and I have to sit and do my work, I have to go inward, I have to meditate, I have to go. What's actually happening right now? Yes, and when you look at your direct reality, you know and it's not to say that there aren't people that are out there struggling and going through things. I want to respect and honor that there are people that are going through this. But if you have the time to listen to this podcast, I'm assuming you're not in immediate danger, you know, and so look around and notice how good things are in this moment and create from that space.
Speaker 2:And there is so much fear mongering happening from the perspective of like, that's what gets attention. You know the catastroph, that's what gets attention. You know the catastrophizing of what's happening. It keeps your attention glued to your phone. It keeps your attention consuming consuming instead of creating. You know, like a doomsday prepping. Do I need that Navy seal bugging kit? A hundred percent.
Speaker 1:And what were you? Complete no, no, go ahead. I feel like there's a beautiful space that we get to live in if you choose to, and it's. Let's be prepared but also not expect it. I grew up in California. I grew up in LA, and we had things like earthquake drills and like a school fire drill and it was like, hey, we're gonna practice this. If something happens, this is what we would do. This is your water and your Mylar blanket, you know. So you know what they are, where they are, and so I believe in like, hey, let's be prepared.
Speaker 1:So when we started hearing things about this administration that we were like, huh, that doesn't feel great, that doesn't feel great. And I was just like just like, okay, what would, for me, feel like being prepared? And I was just like, cool, you know, we actually don't have. We did at the time we didn't have an emergency kit for our home, so I was just like I would love to get some like lanterns that go for solar, um, some like canned goods, because also the fires were going on like there was a. There was many things that was environmental there. There was also governmental things like that, and I was just like cool, you know what also make me feel better, just having paper maps, just having paper maps where I wouldn't have to rely on my phone if I needed to go.
Speaker 1:Hey, actually I'm a bounce, you know. Um, and that was what felt good to me. Am I preparing to leave the country? No, did I go to Costco and get some flashlights? I did. I did, and it made me feel better because places, people were losing everything in LA at the time and I was like, wow, we don't have the base level of preparedness for ourselves if something was to go down. So it's like how can you be prepared without expecting the worst? I'm not expecting the power grid to go down, I'm not expecting to have to flee to another country.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know that's a really good point about getting educated. You know like we realize what would we need if the grid goes down. You know what would we need if you know we filled up, we have water that we have on backup, just things that are important if a fire happens or the grid goes down. And there are things you can expect for, like fun fact, brittany was like going down the hall and there and I just wanted to share this tip grab your hamper.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:If you don't have like a go bag, grab your hamper because it has your most current clothes that you're wearing.
Speaker 1:That fit you, that fit you.
Speaker 2:And so I remember one time my sister had a, had a go kit, you know, cause of LA and earthquakes and everything. And she looked at it years later and, like my niece, who was already like a teenager, she had like her little kid clothes and like that really wouldn't have worked. But the hamper aspect of life, like duh, like who knew that.
Speaker 2:Grab your hamper. It's got your. It's got the clothes you like to wear. And there's something about being educated. There's a lot of talk about your rights being taken away, but if you actually know your rights, you have.
Speaker 1:So, and they were educating the children, yes, and educating us as citizens who may not have been quote unquote directly affected, but it affects one, it affects all but us all knowing our rights and being like I'm going to step in. Yeah, I know my rights, I know this person's rights. We're going to speak up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're going to speak up and we're going to that simple education. They were handing out pamphlets, I think, in Chicago, and people you know the people that were running ICE got very upset about it. They're like what are you? You know you're teaching people how to resist arrest and it's like, actually no, we're teaching them their rights and you're upset because now you can't arrest them.
Speaker 1:Yes, because they know their rights. Because they know their rights.
Speaker 2:So, more than anything, I would say get educated on your rights, reach out to community, get the support you need around you and know that there's support. There are places and people you can go to, to reach out to. And I just kind of want to drop this point in it's that candidates don't deliver on their promises. It's a lot of talk to keep your eyes glued to the screen, but if they did deliver on their promises, my student loans would have been wiped out by now or there would be a wall at the bottom of Mexico. Like you know, there's constant talk of this is what I'm going to do so they can get into office, and then the things don't actually get delivered on. That's not to say things aren't happening. I'm not, you know, being a Pollyanna about this. There are. There are things happening and, depending on where you get your news, I don't want to put anything in your line of vision that isn't there already. There are things that are happening and that look alarming, but there's also protections in place to support us as citizens and, at the end of the day, there are more of us, there are more citizens than those in power, and we have to remember, like the greatest thing you can do in this time is to stay empowered, like know that your attention is fucking priceless.
Speaker 2:There's a reason there was a battle for TikTok because the eyes on there, the way people were sharing information, the way information was getting to people faster. That's why it became a turf war for TikTok. Because it became. It's such a priceless thing to get your attention. You know why? Because your attention creates the reality, and if you can bring your attention back to what you truly want to create, those that are most in power are those that know that the power stands within them.
Speaker 2:There's not. It doesn't matter who lives in a house across the country. They cannot control your personal reality, which is why media is so is such a giant asset, and it's where the most money is spent. The best thing you can do is empower yourself and learn how to control your own state, because as you control your state, you control the energy and the frequency of things you put out in your world, and I would love to. This is a perfect time to talk about our sponsor this week. Yay, who's our sponsor? I about our sponsor this week. Yay, who's our sponsor? I'm the sponsor this week.
Speaker 1:Yay so.
Speaker 2:Lissette is your sponsor. This week I am teaching a HUNA intro class and what we're doing is we're doing some major release work. I'm going to teach energy, how to work with the elements, how to empower yourself, and the first thing that we do is we release baggage yourself. And the first thing that we do is we release baggage. We release your anger, your fear, your guilt, your shame, so that you can clear the stuff that's been stagnant inside of you, so that you can create and pull energy in to create the reality you want to create. This has been the most magic behind my magic.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I can just say one of the students who was in our last class. He shared in a circle how powerful this class was for him, that he said this has been the most powerful thing he's done all year and that it's transforming his life and he's been able to take new actions and show up in his life differently. So, like people are getting the results. The magic is here and if this is something you want to learn about, like, get in it there's a link in the show notes yep, there's a link in the show notes.
Speaker 2:We're going to include that there. Um, the spots are limited, yes, super limited, so the sooner you can get on my roster, it's happening here. Live in portland, and I would love, love, love, to teach you this. If you feel even the slightest call, reach out and get in this class.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, okay. So, like I feel like we're talking about the news of the media play. Something that you shared with me is how do you observe but not absorb, allowing yourself some distance from the information, and if that works for you, I highly encourage it. I'm very much a fan of somebody will tell me. Someone will tell me If there is pertinent information that you need to know. Best believe you will find out. Covid happened and within three days everyone had a mask and was in their home. Like whether or not you watch the news or not, somebody told you and you found out and things were able to happen very, very fucking quickly.
Speaker 1:So I am a firm believer of like I noticed what taking in that kind of media was doing to my nervous system. I was dysregulated, I was in a state of fight or flight as opposed to rest, digest and create, and so I was like, cool, I am not going to ingest those. I have a trusted source. Sometimes it's my wife, sometimes it's a friend who was like I will take in this amount of media whatever, and if there's something that you need to know, I'll tell you. But even then, I'm like I don't even have to have like a spotter, I'm like. I know the information will come to me.
Speaker 1:If it's something that's going to directly affect me or those who I love and I need to do something, I will find out about it. And so I choose to live in a space of creation. I choose to live in a space of personal empowerment, I choose to invest in showing up for my community and being a source of love and light, and because that is how I choose to show up through this, I would encourage, if this feels good to you, to offer your person. Hey, what if you didn't take that in? What if you didn't take that in? What if you set up a Google alert, a friend alert, a something to let you know if there's something where you absolutely need boots on the ground to make a decision?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to circle back to observe, but don't absorb.
Speaker 2:That was a beautiful gift I got on TikTok, and the way I take that in is yes, it's good to be informed, especially when things like you don't want to be the last person to know, you know and you can be, as Brittany said, like someone will tell you with, observe and don't absorb. For me, it's like how can I take this information, alchemize it, create my own empowerment from it and like, actually go? Okay, so I just took that in. What does that actually mean to me? What does that actually mean to my life? What does that actually mean to the people that I care about? Well, that is alarming.
Speaker 2:And what do I have in my power to control right now? Yes, and I always go back to what is in my power to control, and my power comes from empowerment empowering myself and empowering others. Like, how can I the the? The power comes from within, and when you give it away, you feel helpless. And so for me, about about observing and not absorbing. It's observing what. And so for me, about observing and not absorbing. It's observing what. Whoo, okay, that's that. Can I see and alchemize it and turn it into my power? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:I feel like this is also a great place to just try to have like what else could be happening, what else could be true. Sometimes we take things as fact and they're conjecture yeah, they're just conjecture. And we take things as fact and they're conjecture yeah, they're just conjecture. And we take things as like this is absolutely what's happening and it's like it's absolutely not happening. Someone is talking about it. The same way, they're commenting on sports for a game that hasn't even happened yet.
Speaker 1:But they're talking about it so definitively and it's like that game is not even till Thursday, you know what I mean. And they're like well blah, blah, blah. And it's the same kind of energy, it's the same kind of certainty, but it's not actually fact, it's not actually happening. So it's just hey, we're planning on doing this, yeah, anything can happen. Anything can happen.
Speaker 2:And every moment when you're taking in media, you're taking in that person's opinion and for me I'm like do I want this person's life? No Scroll, please.
Speaker 1:Skip.
Speaker 2:No, thank you.
Speaker 1:No, thank you.
Speaker 2:And when I talk about going back to my mentor, he's someone that I admire and respect and has a firm belief that, no matter who's in office, we're going to win. We shall rise above belief that no matter who's in office, we're going to win, we shall rise above, and it's just like that is the mentality that I'm rolling with and I'm taking into my life, and I'm going to be someone who's of service, no matter what's happening. You know, I saw something recently that's like you're not born a dragon slayer in a time without dragons. And we are here. There's a need for you, if you feel that spark inside, to be of service, if you feel that spark inside to go protest. If you feel that spark inside, honor that and do something. But to sit and just consume and absorb and let it paralyze you, that is not the most efficient use of your energy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I couldn't agree more On our last note, when we say how can I support someone else? I feel like the most powerful thing you can do is take care of yourself, is be your own energy, because people don't respond to what we say. They respond to who we be, how we show up. Children don't do what you say. They copy what you do.
Speaker 1:So if you are choosing to stay in a place of empowerment, if you are choosing to stay in a place of positivity, if you are choosing to stay in the light, that lets someone else know, hey, I can do it too. I am seeing someone choose to stay in the light, to stay in a place of positivity, to stay in a place of empowerment. Okay, it is not just lip service, I'm seeing it, I'm feeling their vibration. So the most powerful thing you can do to support your friend is make sure your energy is clear, that you're doing your own personal work and that you're standing in that space. Be the calm center of the universe for yourself, and that is what will radiate out to those around you.
Speaker 2:It's standing in your authenticity, and your authenticity and your truth of what is the world you're creating Like. At the end of the day, we're all creating our own world and no matter what's happening or what I'm receiving, I'm like, oh, that's an interesting thing that's happening in someone else's world and yet how can I be the most empowering? Most empowered and most empowering person in the room has always been my ask for myself. How can I be stand in my truth? Because all realities are happening at the same time. It's everything everywhere all at once, guys, it's just like do you like your reality? No, all right, let's get the fuck out of it, let's change it. And there's a reason. This got co-created in this moment, exactly as it is. There are good things happening out there. You just got to look for them.
Speaker 1:Yes, wow, this has been a really great episode, I feel like for myself. It reminds me to where my attention goes, energy flows, and so, like I start every morning with gratitude, got the five minute gratitude journal and, putting myself in that space of gratitude, I find every day more things to be grateful for, and so, like really tuning into my energy of what is the state that I want to live in. How about, for?
Speaker 2:you. Well, I want to be in the best shape of my life, no matter what's going on. I want to be ready to climb that mountain and I want to be ready to run if.
Speaker 2:I need to, like all things are necessary. So it's just like can you be motivated? For me, it's like I want my body to be as strong as possible period, whether it lives to live a long time or I just need it to be functionally strong right now. It's just like stay ready, don't expect the worst, but stay ready. What's wrong with that?
Speaker 1:Stay ready.
Speaker 2:Stay ready.
Speaker 1:Stay ready. You never know when it's the best day ever. I mean, this is only kind of tangentially related, but we have a friend, sarah, who's absolutely incredible. She's an opera singer and she was at the Hollywood Bowl and Kristen Chenoweth was there and she was singing songs and she happened to pick Sarah out of the audience to sing a song from Wicked with her and it's just like stay ready, because you never know literally. I mean like for music, I mean first of all, she's just like an icon, but like as a singer, I can imagine to have someone who you admire, a show that she loves she loves wicked and then to be chosen and brought up. It's like stay ready, you never know when your big moment is about to happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah that was a bit of a side tangent, but works the same way. Stay ready for your great life and stay ready for anything that happens, I stay ready for my great life because that's the only option.
Speaker 1:I'm available for.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to look, fly in all the lives.
Speaker 1:Oh man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much for sending in this question. It feels so poignant and important in this time and I hope that listening to this episode really supported you listener in grounding here today.
Speaker 1:Yes, and until we meet again, be honest with each other, yeah.
