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Honest Feedback
Honest Feedback offers compassionate support, advice and new perspectives on navigating life's challenges.
Honest Feedback
Fear of Being Seen
There's a profound freedom that comes when we drop the masks we wear to please others. In this deeply personal episode, Goddess Brittney and Lisset explore why so many of us fear being truly seen, and the transformative power that emerges when we dare to live authentically.
We dive into a listener's vulnerable question about the exhaustion of pretending to have it all together while fearing rejection for showing their true self. Through personal stories (including Lisset's recent revelation about her mohawk and Brittney's experience of coming out to her family), we unpack how authenticity becomes the magnet that draws your soul family to you.
"You spend the first 30 years of your life worrying what everyone thinks, the second 30 years not caring what anyone thinks, and the last 30 years realizing no one was thinking about you in the first place." This wisdom from Lisset's father illuminates why we waste so much energy on others' perceptions.
We share practical guidance on self-acceptance, the liberating realization that not everyone needs to like you (just as some people love avocados and others don't), and how to practice discernment about which parts of yourself to share in different contexts. Most importantly, we reveal why standing in your authentic light isn't just personally healing - it creates permission for others to do the same.
For those ready to step into their power, we invite you to join our transformative "Awaken Your Fire" retreat in Sedona (May 23-25). Use code "EMPOWER" to get $500 off. https://www.goddessbrittneyking.com/awakenyourfire
Honest Feedback was created by Brittney King and Lisset King.
Note: Honest Feedback Podcast aims to provide insights and provoke thoughtful reflection. The opinions expressed in this episode are for informational purposes only and should not replace professional advice.
Please send us your questions by leaving a voicemail at 971-895-4111, DM us on instagram @honestfeedbackpodcast or email us at thekings@honestfeedbackpodcast.com
Keep up with the podcast by following us @HonestFeedbackPodcast on YouTube
When we allow ourselves to be our true, authentic selves, to be who we actually are, we actually magnetize those who are supposed to be in our life to us. Welcome to Honest Feedback, the podcast where deep truth meets bold transformation. I'm Goddess Brittany King, a pleasure priestess and a transformational retreat facilitator who helps women connect to their deepest truths, reclaim their pleasure and awaken their inner power.
Lisset:And I'm Lissette King, an emotional ninja and transformational coach who helps leaders release baggage, heal unresolved trauma and step into their most aligned, purposeful lives.
Goddess Brittney:We've created this podcast for spirit-led individuals just like you, seekers of truth, personal growth and meaningful connection.
Lisset:Whether you're navigating life's big questions, craving more joy and fulfillment, or simply looking for honest, relatable conversations, you're in the right place.
Goddess Brittney:Through personal stories, actionable advice and transformative insights. Our ultimate goal is to empower you to create a life that's overflowing with pleasure, purpose and authenticity.
Lisset:We know you're capable of incredible things, so let's make it happen together.
Goddess Brittney:Welcome back to another episode of Honest Feedback. I am so excited to be here. I'm feeling very pumped up, very lit up, because we are talking about something I love and it is being seen, or the fear of. Well, I guess we're talking about the fear of being seen. I like talking about being seen.
Lisset:Yeah, she does.
Goddess Brittney:Can you tell by my red shirt Shocking, shocking. How do you feel about being seen?
Lisset:You know I have grown into it. When I was little there was a problem with being the youngest one where I didn't feel seen at all.
Goddess Brittney:So I was a bit extra.
Lisset:you know, make a lot of jokes and dance and do anything for people to pay attention to me and then, as I've grown up, there was like a I don't know if being seen is actually safe. Anybody resonate and then you know I'm back in the zone of feeling good, being seen as I am.
Goddess Brittney:I love it. I love your big cat energy with your shirt. Thank you, she's being seen, folks. She's being seen. Yeah, being seen is it's a journey for sure. I wonder if I came out the womb with like glitter, like pop, you know that gift A hundred percent.
Lisset:I wasn't there and I'm pretty sure there was glitter that popped out.
Goddess Brittney:I think there's like something that was just like. Oh like, let's everybody look at me.
Goddess Brittney:And then you know, dramas, dramas, whatever life happens, and you're like don't look at me. And then you know, dramas, dramas, whatever life happens. You're like don't look at me. That's a Christina Aguilera song, but we have a beautiful writer who wrote in today about it and I'm really excited to share about this, because a lot of us navigate this experience.
Goddess Brittney:I actually cannot think of anyone who I've ever talked to who has not expressed like discomfort around being seen or if it's okay to be themselves. And we got some tips, we got some information to share with you. So let us dive in. Okay, okay. How do you deal with the fear of being truly seen like the real, unfiltered you? I'm so tired of wearing this mask all the time, pretending to have it all together, but every time I think about letting people see the real me, I freak out. What if they don't like me? What if I'm too much or not enough? How do you get past that fear of showing up as your true self? Yes, yes, yes, yes, I I feel you and I hear you, because it's like, oh gosh, wearing a mask. It's so exhausting.
Goddess Brittney:Yeah, it's, you're just. It's people pleasing and pretending and performing and, like you know, you start to understand why actors are making what they make. It's exhausting, it's exhausting, pretending to be someone who you are not, and so it can be really jarring to think what if I let people know the real me?
Goddess Brittney:And so my first thing is number one you have to be okay with who you are. Yeah With you. You got to start with yourself first. So I ask you do you love the real you? Do you allow yourself to be seen by you? Do you actually show yourself who you actually really are? Or sometimes the mask is so deep and the cosplay is so real that we're just putting on a performance, even for ourselves, even when no one else is watching.
Lisset:Yeah, and we'll convince ourselves that we're like okay with this. I have a really silly story. Very recently I was like you know what? I think it's time for me to like cosplay as an adult and grow out my hair and see, like you know and I was like I liked it when I had a fro back in the day, it's very cute. So I started growing out my hair sometime in July, I think I like chopped it down and then I started growing out my hair. Sometime in July, I think I chopped it down and then I started growing it all even.
Lisset:And very recently I was looking in the mirror and I'm like I don't know if this is really me. I started to feel like, oh, this doesn't feel like me. And so I'm officiating a friend's wedding and I was like you know, I was talking over brunch and said I think I'm bringing back the mohawk and Brittany's face lit up like a crystal. She's like you know, I was talking over brunch and said I think I'm bringing, I think I think I'm bringing back the Mohawk, and Brittany's face lit up like a crystal. She's like oh, my God really. And I was like, well, tell me how you really feel, because you know she was very supportive of whatever I want to do with my hair, which feels it's just so loving to have a supportive partner, and also I was, like you know, because it is me. There's something about this look For those of you that are listening, I cut my, I have my mohawk back, my little frohawk back and the moment it was, my hair was cut.
Lisset:I looked in the mirror. I was like it was this breath of fresh air. I'm like oh, that's me, that's who I am Like, whatever.
Goddess Brittney:Like I have a, I have a.
Lisset:Mohawk. I'm back in grad school. I'm like I don't know if it's very professional. I have a Mohawk and my friend was like I don't know if I would trust a doctor without a Mohawk. And I was just like maybe I'm I'm the doctor of the future, I'm the doctor that people need me to be. They're like I don't trust any of this straight-laced.
Goddess Brittney:I mean you're studying psychedelic and natural medicines Like why would we have the stuffy haircut?
Lisset:Yeah no, it's true, I was going for what I thought would be my collegiate look. It did look very mad professor. But when I saw myself, there was this acceptance of who I am, that I don't like looking like everyone else and I don't like appearing in a way that isn't you know, that's quote unquote normal, and that it was so freeing just to look in the mirror and go oh, there I am. And and this acceptance of who I am as I am, which is just like little different I'm a little queer.
Goddess Brittney:Baby, I love your differences. I feel like also this is something that when we allow ourselves to be our true, authentic selves, to be who we actually are, we actually magnetize those who are supposed to be in our life to us. Honestly, like even before I kind of knew I was queer, there was, like another, I had a girl crush on this other girl. She was the she. Her name is Sid. She's the lead singer of the band the internet. You know what? She has a mohawk. She has a little frohawk and I was just like I'm very into the look. I didn't even connect until it was like, oh wow, I'm very much like something about it. I like, okay, I like it. But like I got that was like a thing of attraction. It was a thing of knowing and like, when you're standing your truth, when you're standing in your light, you attract those who are for you to you and like I was attracted to her for more than her hair, but it didn't hurt.
Goddess Brittney:It did not hurt at all, and so when we're allowing ourselves to be our full, authentic selves, we actually attract who's for us to us, because they can see us. Now it's like, oh my God, that's my friend. Her with the disco balls, that's my friend.
Lisset:And with that, like you're going to attract your tribe but you're also going to turn off people and there's, there's. There's something about becoming an adult and realizing that not everyone's going to like you and that's a good fucking thing, like we really don't want everyone to like us. It's exhausting to be everyone's friend, like be yourself and and be the most yourself and, and some people will not like you in the moment. You, the sooner you accept that, um it's. We were recently honoring my father who had passed uh, 13 years ago, no, 12 years ago, sorry, he had passed 12 years ago and we were honoring him and one of his favorite jokes was you spend the first 30 years of your life worrying when everyone else thinks he's from the second 30 years of your life, not caring what anyone else thinks.
Lisset:And as you spend your last 30 years of your life realizing that no one was fucking thinking about you in the first place. And that's so fucking true. Everyone is so self-absorbed, bro, You're listening to thisabsorbed bruh, You're listening to this. Nobody cares.
Goddess Brittney:Nobody cares. That's a shout out to Schitt's Creek, if you've watched it.
Lisset:Nobody cares David.
Goddess Brittney:Nobody cares, david, go ahead.
Lisset:No, yeah, and it's just like it's important that you realize that you're so worried about what other people think and no one's fucking thinking about you and there was something beautiful that shifted at 30 and I was just like I don't fucking care and I care the least now, and even like my moment of cosplaying care, I was just like fuck that, I'm over it, I want to be myself.
Goddess Brittney:Yes, well, I feel like once you get comfortable with understanding, not everybody likes you and it's not personal.
Lisset:It's not personal.
Goddess Brittney:So sometimes we take it really personally of like, so-and-so doesn't like me and it means something about me, but like, no, like, think about it like food. So you know we're at breakfast or whatever. I don't like eggs, I just don't like them. Blasphemous, she likes it, I love it. Do you take it personally that I don't eat a breakfast egg?
Lisset:no, it's more eggs for me right, she doesn't like avocado. I don't like avocado I'm like get it on the side, girl, because I will eat the show right.
Goddess Brittney:But like I don't think an avocado tree is personally offended or think there's something wrong with who I am and how I. Maybe I should change into a fruit that she likes so that she will accept me. The people who love avocado, they fucking love it. They're happy. They know guac is extra, happy to pay for it, happy to share it, happy to add it, like the people who love it fucking love it. So allowing yourself to be you allows the people who fucking love it to fucking love it, and the people who don't, they just don't, and that's okay. It doesn't take anything away from you. When I think about myself, like I am a girl who has grown up in the story of you're too much. People are always telling me like, can you be louder, can you? I mean, can you not? Can you be louder? Can you be you be softer? Can you shut this down, tone this down, blah, blah. And when I let go of that story and let go of cosplaying normies, you know what I mean. Like I met my person and what did you say?
Lisset:you said oh, she's like I'm worried, I'm too much, I was like baby, you're just the right amount yes, and she's like I want it with like the sprinkles and the chocolate, and if you were a sandwich, I'd order extra everything yeah.
Goddess Brittney:It's so cute, but she wants to order extra everything. Yeah, I want to be with someone who wants to order extra everything. I have friends who are like we are here for the vibe. We literally have a friend. Her name is Liz and she's always talking about be the vibe. She has a whole, her whole basement. Her whole basement of her home is a walk in glitter explosion closet. Because she loves dressing up and she loves accessories. Like literally there's a wall of sunglasses more than a sunglass hut of like fun, kooky things. Because she wants to be herself, this tiger shirt is amazing.
Goddess Brittney:Amazing. Be herself. This tiger shirt was amazing. She is herself and it's like cool. It's okay If some people don't like you, we don't have to take that personally, and so what gets to happen? What light do you get to stand in when you decide I'm not going to take if someone likes me or not personally, because it actually has zero to fucking do with me likes me or not, personally, because it actually has zero to fucking do with me.
Lisset:It has. It has nothing to do with you. Like seriously, and you're thinking of the worst case scenario. What if they don't like you? But like what if they do like you?
Goddess Brittney:what if everybody likes?
Lisset:you. What if everybody likes you? And what if they don't like you? And what wouldn't happen if they liked you? And what wouldn't happen if they didn't like you? And if your brain's breaking a little bit because it's supposed to like it, doesn't fucking matter even in the slightest bit. They don't like you get over it and they like you get over it like it's totally fucking fine and I'm sorry for being so forward, but I really care about this topic.
Goddess Brittney:Yeah I feel like they're. I have had my own experiences of feeling like I'm wearing a mask and it was just so exhausting and you know the results I was depressed, I was anxious, I felt like I had to perform, I felt like I couldn't. I didn't know if people were really my friends because I was giving them a performance version of Britney, so I was scared to tell people. Like I remember when I finally told a friend that I was experiencing depression and she was just like you, really Like I just had no idea, and I was just like, yeah, I guess I've just been pretending. And she was like, wow, that's like really sad. We've been friends for years. Like I had no idea. She was sad because she was like I didn't know that I wasn't knowing you. You know, I'm still interested in getting to know you, interested in getting to know you.
Goddess Brittney:But I was robbing myself of genuine connections, of having honesty, of having more joy and more pleasure in my life, because I was pretending to be something that I wasn't. And it was so liberating to allow myself to be seen for who the fuck I am. I am goddess Brittany King, and now I get to stand in that truth and stand in that light and be in my pleasure and be in my turn on, and this is who I am and you know what. It makes some people uncomfortable and that's okay because it's not about me, it has nothing to do with me. Some people are uncomfortable. Other people are like tell me everything.
Lisset:Tell me everything Turn down for what?
Goddess Brittney:I feel like this is a beautiful time to talk about our sponsor for this week.
Goddess Brittney:Our sponsor for this week is King Experiences and we are bringing you Awaken your Fire. This is a three day transformative experience in Sedona, may 23rd through 25th, and we are bringing the heat y'all. If you have been feeling stuck in your life, feeling uninspired, feeling like I know there's something more for me and I am just not sure. Maybe you're pretending and not knowing how to stand in your light, this is for you. This is a three-day transformational experience where we go deep. There is release work and embodiment rituals and initiations for you to stand in your power and stand in your light.
Lisset:Yeah, yes, there's a little doggie that came out to say what's up.
Goddess Brittney:She felt the heat. She felt the heat and she wants to be involved and she wants in on this fire. So if you're interested, check it check it out.
Lisset:Yeah, check out the link below. It's going to be incredible, and if there's anything that britney and I love and excel at, is just letting women express who they are to the fullest and feel so loved we open in portals.
Goddess Brittney:Jump through, yes, amen, oh.
Lisset:Yes, speaking of jumping through portals, jump through, yes, amen, oh yes, speaking of jumping through portals, you're going to mention about your family and how you don't always share.
Goddess Brittney:Oh, yes, okay. So this is a beautiful point. So when you're in the space of like, I am ready to be seen, fantastic, we are here for this.
Goddess Brittney:Yes, yes, yes, kudos, kudos. We are here for this. Yes, yes, yes. So you are standing in your truth, you're standing in your light. Yay, love this for you. And there's an invitation to bring in the energy of discernment. Discernment is so powerful. This is my favorite, my friend laura, love her. This is my favorite way of hearing. Discernment is like is a tomato a fruit fruit? Yes, technically it is. Does it go in a fruit salad? No, it does not. That is discernment. That is discernment.
Lisset:That kid speaks the truth.
Goddess Brittney:Yes. So when I started allowing myself to be seen for who I truly am, this was all happening. When my mom got diagnosed with stage four cancer, I started having my spiritual awakening. Her lungs started talking to me and it was like you have to live your life. And I was like, okay, then I'm fucking done with pretending all of these things, I'm pretending all this shit, I'm letting it go. And so I started letting my family know who I truly am. I shared with them that I was going to a pole dancing studio and reclaiming my body, and I showed them my pole dancing shoes and I was like, hey, I'm queer, I'm dating a woman. Actually, here's my coming out story. It's like a breakfast table. And I was just like, okay, everyone, so I am dating women now and everybody needs to get on board. That was it. And I was like, oh, and she's Polly, so there we go. And then I just left and people were just like, huh, you know, and that was it. And I introduced my family to Lissette and I was like great, they get to know parts of me.
Goddess Brittney:What I didn't choose to share with them was the depths of my spiritual awakening. I wasn't talking to them about the energy workers I was going with and like the portals that were being opening and timeline hopping and you know and I didn't tell them her lungs are talking to me and I can see the spirits in the room and because I was doing this kind of deep work, they saw the fucking results. And I got to set really big boundaries with my estranged father and speak up for what I needed and all these things. And I remember my sister pulled me aside and she was like I can really see how much growth you've had through therapy, because therapy used to be a problem for them. But they were like I can really see how much growth you're having through therapy. And I just said thank you so much and let therapy be the blanket umbrella for every fucking thing I was doing, because we went a lot deeper than talk therapy.
Goddess Brittney:But that was my discernment of do they get to experience who I am? Yes, they do. Do they get to experience the truth of who I am? Yes, they do. And I'm discerning about what aspects of my life I choose to share with those that are close to me, because my soul, family, like my love and some of my deepest friends, they know about those experiences and I'm happy to share them with those who can hold the space and hold the vision and hold the light of what I'm experiencing. The family that I was born into love them and bless them. They are doing the best they can with the resources they have and that might be a bit advanced for me to introduce into the dynamic, and that's okay. I don't feel that I'm pretending to not be myself around them. I'm just not saying, by the way, the same way you're not telling your parents about, like this is how she licks my pussy. You know what I mean. Like there's just certain details where it's just like we're happy. That's what you need to know.
Lisset:Absolutely. My family does listen to this podcast. They know what they're getting into. I did not get very graphic. You did not oh my.
Lisset:And you know this is why there's an adult rating, and what I want to say about that is that the more you you are, your circle might get smaller, and that's okay.
Lisset:Our wedding was we were very particular that only the people that could see us in the highest light are welcome, and even some that don't really know us that were, let's say, they were in the periphery, they were going to watch us do a pole dance as our first dance, because that's who we are and and I'm not by any means going to say that it is so easy to be yourself I had an aha around haircut this week. You know it is an ongoing practice to honor yourself and honor your growth and honor your expansion. Like you know, I help clients and the NLP stuff and the hypnosisnosis that's the conventional stuff that I do and then we do magic and that's part of it too and energy work and hawaiian energy work and all the things that I that I do that are considered out there, but they get results and they're who I am, so I own them with all of who I am, and those who are not meant for me will not come to me, but those who are are going to receive the deepest fucking healing.
Goddess Brittney:Yes, people are looking for you, whatever you choose to believe, your soul, family, the people in alignment, the opportunities that are for you, and it's difficult for them to find you when you're pretending to be someone else. For you.
Goddess Brittney:And it's difficult for them to find you when you're pretending to be someone else. And so my invitation for you and like an exercise that you can take home is I would invite you to look at yourself in the mirror, make eye contact with yourself and just start to eye gaze and breathe in. It is safe to be me, it is safe to be me, I love me, I love me, and it is safe to be me. And you can even ask the universe can you show me how loved I am to be myself? Can you show me how safe I am to be myself? And the universe will show you. We live in a vibrational universe. It will respond to you and show you oh look, look, I'm safe to be myself here. Somebody will say something random. You'll be like, oh, I feel the truth of that. I'm safe to share with this person. I am so loved, I am so valued, and the love for yourself, the safety within yourself, will continue to grow. And sometimes we take little steps, little baby steps.
Goddess Brittney:It's like I'm going to go to a coffee shop, or I'm going to go to a retreat. I know, for some people it's college. It's like, hey, I'm going to put down all my masks, I'm going to go to college far away, where I can actually step into who I actually am and allow myself to be who I am and play. It's like makeup Just let yourself play.
Lisset:Yeah, we're playing. You're allowed to evolve too.
Goddess Brittney:Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Lisset:Especially if people have held you in a certain light for so many years. That's where it feels like a mask is falling off, because maybe who you are is so, because it's true, who you are is so much more dynamic and deeper than any one person can know, and you're battling their perception of you, and their perception is not the truth. You have to be okay with the truth of you, first and foremost, and that love needs to come from the inside. That love from the inside, it doesn't matter who else is giving to you when you're filled up from you.
Goddess Brittney:Yeah, yeah, and you did not list your pronouns, but I do want to just say as a little caveat, we all have experiences of like, what is it like to be seen and is it okay for me to be seen?
Goddess Brittney:And something that I have studied is the witch wound, and the witch wound is a very encompassing wound, but it's about particularly the feminine and being seen in your gifts, being seen in your power, getting seen in your light, and so, whether that, whether you identify as a woman or not, we all have had that experience. One of the the number one fear for most people is public speaking and then death. Yeah, so being seen can be a big deal. Being seen can be a big deal and we have an opportunity to move through that, because when you do let yourself be seen, the magnificence I love getting to see people shine it is truly inspirational and uplifting and beautiful and courageous, and there's always gold in those experiences. So I, lovingly, am supporting you and encouraging you for allowing yourself to be seen in all of your gifts and all of your messiness and all of your perfectly imperfect parts, because they are all worthy of love and you are safe to be you.
Lisset:Yeah, oh, I love this. This is a good question. Yes, passion, I got heated, we got heated.
Goddess Brittney:The passion is strong. Absolutely, absolutely Well, this has been fantastic. Do you have any other closing thoughts? Or I have a game Let. Absolutely Well, this has been fantastic. Do you have any other closing thoughts? Or I have a game. Let's see. How are you allowing yourself to be seen right now? How are you standing?
Lisset:in your light, being yourself? That's a really great question. I am standing in my light and I'm owning my path more and more every day. I am an energy worker. I am a child of God. I am a spirit. I am here to make a difference. I'm here to start a revolution. Yeah, you know, and yeah, and I'm okay being seen in that, like there's a there has been recently with the state of the world and everything, I was like do I have anything I would die for? And one of the things was I believe in the freedom of yourself and your mind and your empowerment, and that is a hill I'm willing to die on that. Everyone is born free and shall be. Yes, love that baby. Yes, same question.
Goddess Brittney:Yeah, I feel like I'm expanding into a new level of being seen, as far as being a pleasure priestess and owning my gifts and owning my medicine and owning my magic. I got an opportunity last week to do a speech about pleasure and it being a portal and I was invited to speak for an hour and I had all the things come up. I don't know this group of people. What if they think I'm weird Chatter, chatter, chatter and I got to a place of like and so fucking what? I am here for a purpose. I have a reason. There are people who need my medicine and it is selfish to hoard it and I choose to let people see me and get to know me because I believe in the beauty in the universe of like. This is something that just allows me to have more love and allows me to have more beautiful experiences in my life by me being who I authentically am.
Lisset:Yeah.
Goddess Brittney:So I choose it, and you might be seeing me speak in more.
Lisset:So stay tuned. Oh, I know we will Get ready.
Goddess Brittney:By might? You definitely will be.
Lisset:Yay, yay, that was an awesome, awesome question. Thank you so much for writing that one in, and if you have a question, please write it to us, send it to us, call us at 971-895-4111 and hit that like button. Share review and, until we meet again, be honest with each other. Bye.
